Why Voice Is More Important Than Body Language

My new client walked into the room like he was walking into a final exam.

“I’m about to make the biggest pitch of my career. Teach me how to use my body language to be more effective and engaging.”

I’d already seen him walk in and knew that body language wasn’t his problem. He had a strong posture and an open stance. We could certainly make tweaks to improve it, but that wouldn’t be the magic sauce.

The magic was in his tone of voice. It always is.

I taught him about the power his tone of voice held. We worked on optimizing that power and ensuring his voice reflected his credibility, compassion, and curiosity. He caught on quickly and tapped into the magic within a few hours.

When it came time to make the pitch, he was ready to use his magic and got the hefty investment he requested.

My entire career has been based on honing the skills to build beliefs. As a trial attorney, I taught witnesses and clients how to speak to juries and make a case for their ideas. I then became an anchor at the Law and Crime Network and had to build credibility with the audience we served. I’m a keynote speaker who teaches audiences of leaders, entrepreneurs, and salespeople how to build belief in their ideas, teams, and potential. People think they need to focus on body language. But it’s tone of voice that matters most.

YALE STUDY

I used to think a lot about body language. I read all the books and listened to all the podcasts to ensure I knew all the secrets and could teach them to my clients. But then I saw a study out of Yale that changed everything.

This study said you can tell more about a person’s emotion from their tone of voice than their body language and facial expressions combined. It made so much sense to me! From a young age, we’re taught to smile even when we’re not happy and stand up straight even when we’re not confident. Adults taught us to fake body language and facial expressions. But we haven’t learned to fake our tone of voice.

Here’s why I love this study so much. First, it underscores the importance of listening. If you listen well, you’ll get all kinds of information about the person you’re talking with. You’ll hear their doubt, excitement, or boredom. And if you’re making the case for your ideas or innovations, that information is vital to crafting your following sentence.

Second, it means that to be compelling, we need to work on our emotions before making the case for our ideas. I’ve always said you can’t prove something until you believe it. And now this Yale study shows why. If I don’t believe in my idea, neither will you. When I present withresentment, you feel it (and may even mirror it). Before I make the case for my ideas and innovations, I need to ensure it’s not with confusion, doubt, or contempt. My listeners will hear that, and it will keep them from believing. But my listeners will be far more likely to believe if I make the case with clarity, confidence, and delight.

That means you’re always your first “jury,” and you must build your OWN belief first. You can do it with Stories and Evidence (the first part of my SEE Technique). Tell yourself a story that supports your belief in your idea or innovation. Collect and create evidence to support that story. Repeat it until you begin to believe, and your voice reflects your positivity.

EMBODIED COGNITION

You may think, “I don’t have time for all that, Heather! I’m about to give a huge pitch for a raise, and I need help now.”

No problem. Your body has your back.

We think our brains control our bodies, but more and more evidence has come out that our bodies may control our brains. This is the field of embodied cognition, and it’s showing us that there are things we can do with our bodies to help our tone of voice. I’m going to share three here. If you follow all three of these suggestions, your voice will change, and your beliefs may also change. It will create a beautiful cycle of voice optimization.

1-Smile.

When you smile, the shape of your vocal cords changes. That change leads to your voice sounding more warm and welcoming. And it doesn’t matter if your smile is fake, and people might suspect it. We know that people hear our emotions in our voices, and even a fake smile changes the shape of your vocal cords.

2-Relax your shoulders.

I used to have a mantra when I was on trial. “No shoulders as earrings.” I got it from my yoga teacher, and it helped me relax my shoulders. What I didn’t know was that as I did, I was also improving my voice. Tension in our jaw, neck, and shoulders strains our vocal cords and makes us sound less warm and engaging.

3-Mind your posture.

While body language may not be as important in telling others about your emotions, it does tell YOU about your emotions. Embodied cognition research shows us that your brain is getting signals from your body, just like your body is getting signals from your brain. When you stand up, sure and proud, you’re telling your brain that you are sure and proud. You’re also expanding your lungs and diaphragm, which is great for your voice.

Pitching is advocating, and you are your own best advocate. No one can advocate for you as well as you can because no one has your passion, beliefs, talent, or heart. You’ve got to learn how to do it well so that you can ask for everything you want and need and get it. Using your voice in a compelling way is an essential component of advocating for yourself, and these tips will help.